A Lifestyle Lesson for Dealing with Doubtful People
Every person on this planet is endowed with purpose upon being born. Simply by existing, we are overflowing with divine presence and purpose. We don’t find purpose; we are it.
And with each unique purpose comes unique sets of thoughts, decisions, and behaviors. Our lives are each our own, and they come with our own comfort zones.
What is comfortable for me might not be comfortable for you. And that is totally okay.
You’re not living my life. And I’m not living yours.
Unfortunately, though, humans still behave like crabs in a bucket (Google it), judging one another’s actions and sabotaging others’ efforts to crawl toward the light.
They do this by expressing doubt, worry, and hesitation about how possible, probable, and purposeful (or lack thereof), the other person’s actions seem to be.
Sometimes is subtle.
Are you sure?
Oh, that worries me.
How are you gonna pay for that?
And sometimes it’s not so subtle.
That’s irresponsible.
What gives you the right?
You can’t do that.
Whatever the medium, usually the message is clear: I doubt your capacity to do what you want to do.
Here are three lifestyle practices for how to deal with doubtful people.
SEE: Pay attention when well-meaning people are bringing doubt into your life.
Sometimes doubt is hard to pick up on because we’ve been trained to believe that if someone worries about us, it’s an expression of love.
One of the most common one is “be safe.”
Although this sounds like care and compassion, there is an underlying suggestion here, which is “what you’ve chosen to do is dangerous.”
Unconsciously, this message tells your nervous system to be on high alert, that you may not be capable of what’s ahead.
“That worries me.”
“Aren’t you scared?”
“Won’t you be lonely?”
These are all similar everyday sayings that are laced with doubt. Simply notice when they are said to you.
STOP: Don’t feed your own doubt.
Once doubt gets a grip on your mind, it’s easy to let your thoughts take over.
Were they right?
Am I making the wrong choice?
This was a stupid idea in the first place.
This is too hard - I’m doing something wrong.
If any of these patterns pop into your mind, stop them in their tracks. Simply stop the train of thought and distract yourself with something else. You’ll notice the thoughts will come up again and again.
All you need to do is stop them again and again.
Mental exercise is similar to physical exercise. It’s all about reps.
START: Do more, think less.
Once you’ve decided what you’re going to do - cut your hair, rent out your house, have a difficult conversation with your child’s teacher - just do it.
Doubt will drain your mental energy, but it has little control over your actions once you’re in action.
As long as you’re taking baby’s steps toward what it is you desire, doubt will eventually fade into the background.
At some point it says, “Oh, they’re gonna do it anyway. I’ll move on.”
MAGIC MANTRA: I believe my life is guiding me to where I need to be.